We believe our communication is most effective when we lead with empathy, compassion and understanding.
In practise, that means asking questions to clarify someone’s meaning (rather than assuming), giving others the benefit of the doubt wherever possible (defaulting to the most charitable interpretation of someone’s words rather than the worst) and taking a collaborative approach to problem solving (viewing each other as allies working together to solve a mutual problem, rather than adversaries competing over which solution to implement).
Many great ideas might not be fully formed when they are first expressed and it’s easy for a great idea to be shot down completely before it’s had the chance to reach its full potential. We believe that every idea should be given a chance to grow before it is judged too harshly.
Instead of pointing out why a new idea might not work straight away, we should give the person who came up with it space and encouragement to develop it further (unless we see clear ethical concerns).
There is of course a time and a place for thinking through the reasons an idea might not work more critically. Ideally, this should be when such feedback is explicitly sought after and generally shouldn’t be unsolicited. This feedback should be solutions-focused, not problems-focused. In other words, if you do have a problem with an idea, you should think through how to solve that problem before bringing it up, so that you can approach the conversation with a solution to the problem, rather than solely a problem.
Our collective works can be most impactful when we use language that reflects (and encourages) open, collaborative thinking:
| Rather than .. ❌ | Let’s try .. ✅ | Example: 💬 | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. | Assuming we understand someone’s goals | Asking to understand others’ specific aims, and confirming before making input | It seems like you’re hoping to __; am I understanding that right? |
| 2. | Assuming someone is ready to hold our insights, without preparation or context | Asking the person what kinds of feedback would feel useful right now | A: I have a couple thoughts I think are helpful; are you looking for affirmations, possible problems, or something else right now? |
B: I’m mostly looking to just brainstorm and add in more ideas, not so much paring down just yet. Thanks for asking! | | 3. | Offering critiques without helping problem-solve | Pairing concerns with possible solutions | After hearing your goals, I’m concerned that __ might be a major obstacle; have you considered __ in case that’s a problem? | | 4. | Responding from our first impressions | Remaining curious; engaging from the perspective that each person has useful ideas that can be helpful and might just need refinements / support | Your idea surprised me at first, but having listened more, I see how that could really work! What kind of support do you need to make it happen? | | 5. | Disregarding an idea due to someone’s tone, spelling, or other point not central to the message | Focusing on the message’s value and our ability to collaborate despite differing experiences | You seem really passionate about this - thank you for helping make sure I understand how important this is! I definitely want to hear you out. |